Dear Me
For 2025, I’m doing Future Me a solid. Read on to see how I plan to address next year’s holiday blues (and the writing slump that follows) well before it even begins.
Sadness, grief, and a negative mindset can kill inspiration and creativity—this isn’t new information, so how can we get around this?
My father passed away nearly 19 years ago; it wasn’t around the holidays, but his absence still hangs heavy during the months of November and December. A lot of folks have seasonal depression. It could be weather related, the lack of sun. Maybe it’s the chaos, the added stress, both socially and financially.
The holidays are A LOT. And as a writer, trying to deal with all that while being creative, on deadline—even if those deadlines are self-induced—gets me into such a terrible mindset that lasts for weeks, and weeks, and weeks.
Cycle of Unproductivity
This is a cyclical thing for me. As long as there’s a Thanksgiving and a Christmas on the calendar, I will sure as heck have issues getting words on the page.
Every year, it starts just the same: A gradual slowdown in productivity as soon as they start selling turkeys at the grocery store. Then, days before Thanksgiving, it all turns off. My mind is spiraling like the ham my mother-in-law heats in the crockpot—I need to start Christmas shopping, the family party is coming up, I forgot to buy wine, what the f*ck day is it? And why did I get so sad all of a sudden? (...oh yeah).
My first instinct is to push through it. I sit at the desk during my scheduled writing time and hate every second of it. And guess what? The creative well dries up even faster.
And since it seems as though I get amnesia every year about my writing habits during this bout of sadness—Why am I stuck? Why aren’t I writing more? (I should be writing more) I suck. (When will I stop sucking?)— I thought about ways to gently remind myself before the holidays even begin. Then, because I’m Type-A, I put a plan in place to ensure that this reminder will land on 2025 Future Me’s desk.
A Reset of Expectations
This isn’t a new technique. In fact, just to make sure it wasn’t, I texted Polly Campbell, my friend and psychology/mindset guru. She couldn’t remember what this was called, and after seven minutes of me googling it, I decided to refer to this (for lack of a better name) as A Reset of Expectations.
(Fun Fact: Many therapists suggest this technique for their clients.)
I typically hold a pretty disciplined writing schedule. So it’s important for me to say that this Reset of Expectations letter will not cure my mental block, but it might help remove some of the anxiety and frustration I feel from not being as productive as I normally am.
This 2024 holiday season, I surprised myself by changing my mindset around December 10th, give or take. I not only forgave myself for not writing more, but I gave myself permission to not write at all! In doing so, I was able to break through some of the slog— few hundred words here, hundred-fifty words there. It wasn’t a lot, but it wasn’t zero either.
In a Nutshell
My Reset of Expectations letter includes specific details about what happened the year before and tips to help me get through it despite feeling sad about my dad. It goes something like this:
Hey You,
This hasn’t hit you yet, but you’re about to go through roughly 35 days of weird emotions that fluctuate between frantic overwhelm and deep sadness. Remember, this is only 35 days! 35 days of weird ups and downs. 35 days of lower productivity. 35 days of your normal schedule being super screwed up. It will not last forever!
Your 2024 holiday blues started two days before Thanksgiving with a panic attack where you cried on and off for 3 hours, but then you took a Xanax, went out and bought a Christmas tree, then made some cookies.
You stayed in this general malaise through December 30th. You didn’t feel like writing, you had trouble being creative, and it was a struggle to stay motivated. What helped was this:
Around December 10th, you mentally gave yourself some slack about writing, which resulted in about 3000 words on the page during the remainder of this slump.
You made lots of cookies, but you also went to the gym twice a week and routinely hit your step-count goal. If you’re going to keep anything from your “before” routine, keep the scheduled workouts.
You journaled and practiced gratitude.
Once December 30th hit, the prospect of the New Year and the excitement of starting a brand-new day planner got you back to normal. By January 2nd, you were feeling more refreshed, and by January 5th, you were back to your old writing routine like nothing happened.
Now, for some future advice:
Mentally give yourself some slack starting now, before the sad creeps in.
Set reasonable expectations for yourself between Thanksgiving and New Year’s.
Forget about word-count goals and watch as many holiday movies as you want — 35 days of not hitting your daily word count isn’t going to kill you.
Lean into the family gatherings. This might mean you hang out with friends less but only because the extra social obligations WILL MAKE YOU CRAZY.
Don’t overdo it. Schedule weekly alone time.
Letter Written, Now What?
Here’s what I did to make sure November 2025 Me gets the memo:
I created a folder on my desktop that’s aptly titled READ ME WHEN…
Inside that folder, this letter is named Holiday Blues. I plan to write another letter to myself for March/April (another time of year that I routinely slip out of creative productivity).
I scheduled an event in my iCalendar that tells me to read these letters. I give notes on where they’re located on my computer.
I put these same events into my day planner with the same notes. (Double reminder!)
I set a reminder in my phone’s Reminders App. (Triple reminder!)
Now It’s Your Turn
What time of year do you usually fall into a creative slump? What causes it? Write yourself something that will help you set reasonable expectations and realistic goals for when you are in the thick of it.
Don’t pressure yourself into doing more than you can. This is where self care comes into practice. Eat well, exercise, journal. Those things should come before anything else, because when we use those tools, we actually produce a lot more in the long run. Trust me, your future self will thank you for it.
Stay well, stay happy, keep writing,
— E